General Content › Business Content
2026-06-28 General Content Business Content
This book made available by the Internet Archive. y that vast love and passion wnicn I Dore you. By tnese long years ox solitude and grief, •By all my vows, I pray and I implore you,
This book made available by the Internet Archive. y that vast love and passion wnicn I Dore you. By tnese long years ox solitude and grief, •By all my vows, I pray and I implore you,
W'kose snow-^vhite thoughts fly ever to the C ross, I am a sinner, with my passions warring, All unrepentant, grieving for my loss. Ok, not tkrougk zeal, religion or devotion, Did I abandon tkose dear patks we trod; I follo"wed only one supreme emotion, I took tke veil for Abelard, not G od! O vow^s, O convent, tkougk you kave estranged^ mtuni tvuh swm
II
itnm tne breast tnese sa-i cred garments cover, j There is no altar of celes-' tial Tire:
I am a woman'weeping for my lover,
Tne victim of a nunger- mg heart s desire.
Veiled as I am, bekold in \vnat disorder k
By prayer and rite, to reach some tranquil border, Wbere virtues blossom and where passions die.
Your ^vill kas plunged me; and in vain I try,
But'svben I tbink tbe conquest gained, some tender] And radiant memory rises from tbe past;
Again to tbose s^veet transports I surrender;
Remembered kisses feed me wbile I fast. Tbougb lost my lover, still my love endures; ibougb sworn to God, my life is wboUy yours. m^^t^^b^m^^i^jmm^MiPMMA
IV
now then tne anguish of my sad condition, _ Ana Dreak the silence or j unending days; I Appease me "with one sen- tence of contrition.
For that command wnicn doomed me to tn
lese ways. am your wife. J^^spi^^ my sacred calling. Despite my vo'ws, my consecrated life. Despite tke fate so tragic and appalling^
Ttat wrecked two hearts, yet still I am your wife]
May you not, then, in pity for my sorrow, Permit me once to look upon your face? Or, that denied, mayJL not comfort torrow y your discourses on
tk e means of g race ? You cast your pearls before unheeding s^\^ine: _^ Would you save souls? Tlien,At)elard, sa ve mine. tegjotat to Abtmita w
I in those n
ose nours when sou and body mated
I n that wild passion^svnicli may not endure-
I f m those n ours so
fer- vent and so fated. 1 loved you with emotions not all pure. Yet even then tne mortal man "was never So dear as "was the grandeur of his heart. A. nd no"w I love you, and snail love forever. T tough earthly joys no more may play tneir part Since in tte cloister I am shut w^itn reason. Persuade me witt devotion to remain.
In our communion there can lurk no treason;
You caused my sorrows, no"w relieve my pain. At your command 1 chose this nated lot: Console me sometimes "witn a spoken thought. y all my cnains, my burdens and my fetters, I plead Avith you to ease their galling weignt. Ana witn tne soothing solace OT your letters. To teacn me resignation to my Tate. Since you no more may breathe love s fervent story, I Tv^ould be bride of teaven. Ot, tell me ho^w! A'wake m me an ardor for that glory, Tlie love divine, so lacking m me now! As once your songs related all love s pleasures^ Relate to me tke rapture of your faitn. Unlock tke storetouse of your new-found treasures. And lend a radiance to my living death. Ot, ttink of me, and kelp me tkrougk the years! Adieu!, ^I blot tkis message witk my tears. xiftin mwTmmm
VII
no"wing tne years or our aelignt Avere past. And tnose seauctive days no more could lure, I sougtt religion s fetters i to make last Tke sinful keart that purposed to be pure
In tkis seclusion, to conceal my shame
L*
In tkis asylum, to forget. Alas! Tke very silence skouts aloud your name: Tkrougk every sunkeam does your radiance pass. I fled, to leave your image far kekmd, I pictured you tke enemy of kope, Yet still I seek you, seek you in my mind, And down tke aisles of memory I grope^ I kate, I love, I pray, and I despair,
I fclame myself, and grief is everywkerc^
Xhe habit of tne penitent I wear. ihe altars Avhere I grovel bring no peace; God gives not heed nor answer to my prayer. B ecause tke ih Ltki
ames -within me do not cease
They are but hid -with asnes, and 1 lack
Tlie strengtk to flood tnem witn a grace divine. For memory forever drags me back And bids me -worskip at the olde n snrine. Your image rises, shrouded m its veil. And all my resolutions droop and fail.
^ IX
looked into tne heaven of your eyes, And dared tne flames ox tell: I keard you speak^_ And strove no longer to te strong and wise, - E artVs rapture lay m being fond and weak. Ot, paradox! ttat virtue like your own. To guilty skame transformed a koly life. And tte entrancing music of your tone Changed peaceful tarmonies to jarring strife^ Fwould forget, and tkink tkat you for got. Our wild atandon and tte sinful ttrall ^stolen tours of tliss. O t, tid me not Tte me mory of ttosc vanisted days recall WtJe you rememter, tow canl forget? Or tope 8 star dawn, till passion s sun kas set? auMiu^ttteii Your constancy gives food to vain desires And your affection adds to my offense; You do but pour on recollection s fires
ay not f ( tk or me tnose sacre( vows you took.
And your vocation rutk- lessl
Sly protane fi
buck blaspnemies Cjod'Will not o erlook. jNor grant salvation till your passions ^vane. Destructive fuel, of tumultuous sense. C onvmced of sin, of sin 1 am not cured; Tke mind repels it, Lut tke keart invites. 3k, give not tken fresk v^oes to ke endured. 3y new rec i tals of our old deligkts! faint keneatk tke fcurdens tkat 1 k Witkout tke increased weigkt of your despair. ear. 'n mmat^in tbtmim fz
XL_
nis mortal love, when dwelt upon witn joy, _ The love o r Goa ma y no t a^DLmnilate.
Ok, would you w^itn old memories destroy
My piety, in its incipient^ state? My vows to God grow f eeble, in the "war^ With tkougkts of you, a nd Duty j voices Jie^ Unans^^ered, down my soul s dark corridor, Wkile in my^keart is passion s desperate cry._ And can you kear confessions suck as tkese, c And tkrust your love ketwecn my God and me? Witkdraw yourself, unkappy t eloise. Be Heaven s alone, and let my life go free. Drain sorrow's ckalice, kravely take your cross; To win lack God, lies tkrougk tke creature's loss
ou call me Father; T Tvas parricide
You call me Master; it was sin I taught;
You call me Husband, yet you -were my bride But after blight and ruin nao. been ^vrougnt. Blot out tnose ■words, and suDstitute instead. Tne darkest titles wounded pride can name. Tnrougn me your nonor and your peace lie dead; I took your virtue, and i gave you shame. Not we alone m passion's pit v^ere hurled; Because we failed, stall otker lives be -weak? Our follies liave set standards for the world; Of our wild amours shall tne centuries speak. For my salvation let your tears be spent; Advance in virtue, and repent! repent! ^^'Vti •r yx v./ •!■ ^Cf -? •' v«^ : " ' 5te mmm
HMeiotae to Atteiags [^
XIII
y fortune has been always in extremes. ! Fate loaded me Avitli favors, and witk woe; Sne lulled me in tke lap of tender dreams, Tnen woke me witk tke anguisn of a blow. She fl ung her choicest blessings at my feet. Tnen took tnem all, m taking you a^vay: A nd m proportion as tbe past was s^sveet. So IS tne bitter of my life to-day. Tbe env ied of all ^vomen, tbrougn your love My sorrows claim compassion from tbem all; I was but lifted to fair beigbts above. Tbat men and angels migbt bebold my fall. Now comes tke last affliction from fate s sto re, I skall bekold my Abelard no more!
XIV
ot mine tne right to murmur or complain. For I alone am your misfortune s cause. 1 am tne portal to your nouse or pain; For lieloise you broke Ood s noly la"ws. I mesnea your greatness in my beauty s snare; You found destruction, gazing in my face; And Samson s fall and Solomon s despair Are lived again in Abclard s disgrace. Yet grant me tkis poor comfort, for my dole, I souglit not, like
Delilak, to destroy^
Mine was tne passion-blindcd woman s role Wno gave her virtue for her lover s joy.
Convinced of love, I hastened to pour out
Life s dearest treasures, tnat you might not doubt. mjm.%^h&M^^^'■ made no use of pretext or derense; 1 valuea virtue, only to bestow; Like Tvnite, nign noon- tiae, glaring ana intense. Love drownea tne w^orlo. or reason in its glow. To be beloved by Abelard, tkat tbougbt^ Absorbed all otber purposes lite flame. Sucb bavoc passion in my bosom ^vrougnt^ Ibanisbed bonor, and invited sbame. I tbrust out duty, and installed desire; I aimed at notbing but possessing you. Ci, God, could I but quencb witb tears tbe fire Of memory of tbose deligbts ^ve knew! G)uld I forget, or grieve for wbat was done, Divine forgiveness migbt be sougbt, and won.
XVI
give out lip-repentance for my flins,
Ana no contrition to my soul IS known;
Eacli da y
memory oegi my la"wl a'w^iess ins Re counting pleasures that were once our o^vn.
Eack niglit I sec my Abel arci in dream s.
Entranced witt love, we turn away from bool And all of wisdom in your utterance seems.
And all of rapture in your ^vords and lo oks.
And I remember ttat dear place and spot ^^here first yo ur passion spoke and kindled mine.
Wkat tide of time can wasli away, or blot Suck memories from tke keart?
Has love divine.
And your misfortune, brougkt you into pcacc^ Wkile I still strive \vitk s t orms tkat neve r cease?! o you, m sluiriDer, sometimes stretck your arms To clasp the yielding Torm or rieloise?
Do you recall my kisses and my charms?
Or nave those pleasures lost tneir power to please? itnm these - w^alls, I'weep and ever weep. 1 nis cloister ecnoes my rebellious cries: W om out witn sorro'w I relive m sleep 1 he unabating grief tnat never dies.
Snail Abelard, the all-entrancing tneme.
Consume the soul tnat ougnt to seek ' :ioa s throne?
How can 1 nope the PoAver I so blaspheme.
Will grant me pardon, or my sins condone? 'h, you whose face I never more may see.
Have pity on my pligbt, and pray for me! aaiMa»ii tt mtiia&t^
XIX
rite mc no more. Bc- etcw yourself on G od. 1 our letters stir me witn a deep unrest. Old half-liealed wounda r eopen in my breast.
A nd tlood-drops stain the young unsullica sod
\Vliere -walked the feet of F aith, repentan ce-sKod. Again, in dreams, is pleasure's pathway trod. My prayerful tho'ts swerve in their upw ard quest^ And carnal love ia once again their guest, 'Write me no more; you draw me hack to earth. Moved hy your words, I lose the hetter way. My purpose falters, and my courage faints. Oh, crush each lawless impulse at its hirth, ■■ :: « 1 •• t.1. 1 " Learn the large meaning of the word ^'ohey. And drain the hitter chalice of the saints. ^p'k^s^^^M.^m^ But wken aeatk calls our purged souls from eartn. On, may your senseless clay rest close to mine! Adieu! adieu! and write no more to me.
XX
ro'^v rite me no more, diligent in prayer; Let G od, not Abelard, te your concern. W^nen mem ries torture, and \vnen passions bum. Look to the Cross, that refuge of despair; Its outstretcned arms are ever waiting there. Immortal life is something we must earn By conquest of the baser self. On, turn our tnoughtsfrom earth, to worlds divinely fair. Let silence give our sorrowing love true wortn. To love you, means to leave you witn no sign: To love me, means to let my life go free. toi!! m0m
XXI
t iastCjoa snows me proo^ or 11 IS regard, x\.na tranquil joys replace gfriei s uncontrol.
Desire no longer riots m
_my soul; Gone are trie dreams or love and Abelard.
My noly meditations are not scarred
By scalding tears from memory s brimming boAvl;
^Nfc^ thougnts fly unimpeded to the goal Detnroned your image and forever barred. On^ let my infidelity proclaim To all the -world no-w fickle love can change! A rival rules tke keart once deemed so true. Yet, ere you think me sunk in utter sname. Hear my aisclosure of what seems so strange'Tia God alone takes Heloise from you. J^y recollection^ 3o ft, 8e~ auctive art. -«- ne guilty fondness of your suffering neart; i o fate s decree my broken spirit bows. Itkink of you no longer as tne spouse, Bit as tlie fatker, set from men apart, Iisensible to passion s poison dart, Tie lioly steward m God s sacred house. ^NV peace was torn of anguish, but it liv es. phenix risen from love s funeral pyrC;
lie patk to ELty is tke patk to Hiss
itere is no pleasure save Avkat virtue gives. Aid yet, again to toucK tkat moutn of fire, lO lose tke world, and find it, in your kiss! RETURN TO the circulation desk of any University of California Library or to the NORTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY BIdg. 400, Richmond Field Station University of California Richmond, CA 94804-4698
ALL BOOKS MAY BE RECALLED AFTER 7 DAYS
2-month loans may be renewed by calling (510)642-6753 1-year loans may be recharged by bringing books to NRLF Renewals and recharges may be made 4 days prior to due date. DUE AS STAMPED BELOW -^^N 1 fi ?npt 12,000(11/95)
LD 21-20m-5,'39(9269s U A
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY
Converted from Love Sonnets of Abelard and Heloise with Illustrations.docx , /Volumes/KD_PERSONAL/02_BUSINESS/Google Drive Archive/Google Drive Download/drive-download-20230302T081450Z-025/23 - Content to Sort